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A Beginner's guide to the MLS, pt. 1

2011-03-04T13:07:00.008-05:00

If you’re anything like myself, the MLS is an exciting, mysterious enigma. The Beautiful Game played in America, the Beautiful. Additionally, if you’re anything like I was you really don’t know the first thing about it. Assuming you know the basics of soccer, I’ve prepared a beginners guide to the MLS! Welcome to 2011!

A Bit of History

The league was founded in 1996 with 10 teams. Piggybacking off the rise in prominence of soccer in the US after the 1994 USA World Cup, the league boasted fairly high attendance and some big name players.A few coming years brought lower attendances and lower financial success, ebbing and flowing with the success of the US National Team. It took a few tumultuous years until 2004 when the National Team had the surprise success of making it to the quarterfinals of the World Cup to re-solidify the MLS as a league.

It’s now 2011 and the league has 18 teams with 1 rumoured team in the works. Gradual economic success is coming to the league as it matures and things are looking up! Why don’t we meet the teams now?

The Teams

There are 16 existing MLS teams plus 2 new additions this year spreadthroughout the US and Canada. To make scheduling a bit easier, the teams are divided into the East and West conference. They are as follows (in alphabetical order, I don’t play favourites! Editor’s note: Come on the U!)

Eastern Conference

Chicago Fire

Expansion team from 1998, the Chicago Fire has 1 precious league title to their name. Defying most expectations, they stole the title in their first year in the MLS. Despite some competitive sparks (heh… spark, fire, get it?) like the signing of Chicago-native Brian McBride in 2008, the Fire has got 3 other championship appearances in their history.

Big moves are hoped for this year from the chi-town faithful, despite some big name departures (namely the USMNT hero Brian McBride and Designated Player Freddie Ljungberg). With new signings Diego Chavez and Nery Castillo, the fire are hoping to reignite the embers of their past success in 2011

Columbus Crew

The Crew is one of the old guard of the MLS. An inaugural team from 1996, it took 12 years for the crew to win their title despite minor domestic and international success in the U.S. Open Cup and the CONCACAF Champions League. Departure of MLS Best XI and MLS MVP striker Guillermo Barros Schelotto will put a big hurt on the Crew’s offensive output along with whole-sale changes in midfield and defense.

Columbus Crew stadium will have a lot of new faces in 2011, and are sure to surprise as head coach Robert Warzycha hopes to maintain the Crew’s reputation as an MLS heavyweight.

D.C. United

If Columbus is a heavyweight of the old guard, D.C. United is the King. League leading 4 title holders United haven’t won since 2004 and have had a couple dismal years. Falling from grace is never easy, but the black and reds (as they are known for their uniforms) haven’t given up. The return of the All-American Charlie Davies hopes to raise the morale, and perhaps more importantly the goal scoring output of the D.C. outfit.

The residents of RFK Stadium will hope this year can begin a revitalization to past success under new head coach Ben Olsen. Sharing rivalries with some of the other east coast, tri-state teams New York, Philadelphia, and even the more remote New England Revolution, its never dull to watch a local derby when D.C. is involved.

Houston Dynamo

2006 entrants to the MLS, the Houston Dynamo enjoyed immediate success in the league. Under the big guns of U.S. national forward Brian Ching, and MLS stalwart midfielder Dwayne De Rosario, the Dynamo ended the season not only with the impressive record of 11-8-13, but with an MLS cup. 2007 would bring another MLS cup to the wunderkinds in Houston.

Political and financial moves in 2008 resulted in the Dynamo being sold to a different owner group. Ching was still a major force with the Dynamo, but even he could only bring the Dynamo to a 2nd place league finish and a loss in the play-offs for the cup. Like D.C. United in the east, the Dynamo will hope to resurge as a power in the MLS after not qualifying for the play-offs in 2010.

New England Revolution

Another one of the original 1996 teams, the New England Revolution have always been the poor-fortune team of the MLS. Boasting a league challenging 4 appearances in an MLS cup final, the Revs have never won a cup. History shows the New Englanders roster feature a number of US National players, but those days have passed and stars Shalrie Joseph and Sainey Nyassi will hope to change the fortunes of the Revs who will be desperate to grab hold of any play-off spot they can steal.

New York Red Bulls

The New York Red Bulls follow the pedigree of local MLB team the Yankees for the somewhat derogatory reason of having a lot of money. They’ve used their money to buy a beautiful new stadium in Harrison, New Jersey and a few players you may have heard of. Recently departed Colombian star Juan-Pablo Angél‘s 13 goals led the big money Red Bulls to a 3rd place overall league finish along with the support of 2 international acquisitions Thierry Henry and Rafael Marquez, both from FC Barcelona in Spain.

Despite Angél’s departure, the Red Bulls will hope to rely a little more on Henry and youngsters like Tim Ream and Juan Agudelo this season as they venture to finally seize any silverware at all and to fill their stadium a bit more consistently in a big year for the New Yorkers.

Philadelphia Union

Struggling through a lackluster inaugural season last year, the Philadelphia Union will hope for some stability. At home in the shiny new PPL Park, the Union will enjoy a more regular schedule as well as a few new names on the roster.

Ex-FC Köln keeper Faryrd Móndragon and Colombian center back Carlos Valdés will hope to bring some brick and mortar to an otherwise-flimsy defense, while MLS legend forward Carlos Ruiz’s return to the league will hopefully add a few tallies to score-sheets. New faces will bolster the ranks of hidden gem Sébastian Le Toux and promising youngster Danny Mwanga as the Union look for an improvement over last year.

Sporting Kansas City (previously Kansas City Wizards)

The new and improved Sporting Kansas City return in 2011 with a rather drastic face-lift with a complete rebranding. New shirts, a new name, and some new faces will bring some new energy to the inaugural Kansas natives.

American young gun Teal Bunbury will enjoy a partnership with Mexican national striker Omar Bravo to hopefully end a relative drought of goals form the 3rd from the bottom last year finish. Additionally, a new stadium, Sporting Park, will hope to give the new SKC a new home for their new identity in mid-June when it is planned to open.

Toronto FC

2007 saw the expansion of the MLS into Canada. The forgettable record of 6-17-7 was overshadowed by the large attendance and excitement of the new team’s fans. Despite the enthusiasm, TFC currently only has 14 members listed to their team. This, by no means is final, but still casts a pall on the Reds.

Hopes that Dwayne De Rosario can continue his hot streak of goals seem to be one of the brightest hopes TFC has got, unless they can impress with some signings before the season begins. 2011 could be a long year for the Canadians, particularly with the introduction of another Canadian team that looks menacing.

For the Western Conference teams and some more MLS familiarization, check back in a few days and most importantly: Enjoy the MLS!

~JM

Personal Life

2010-09-05T12:45:00.005-04:00

The American punk sometimes-trio-sometimes-duo, The Thermals have a new album coming out on Tuesday and I was gloriously endowed by the gods of rock with an advanced copy! Being a huge fan of The Thermals, I was excited, but somewhat concerned. I had no idea what to expect.

When I first heard their 2004 sophomore release 'Fuckin A' I was floored. The unbridled punk energy was exactly what I was looking for and it had the lyrical and thematic complexity to match. The strong authorial intellect conveyed the in ‘Fuckin A’ made it easy to believe their next 2 albums would be a little bit more focused and a bit more pointed. 2006’s ‘The Body, The Blood, and the Machine’ proved me right while delivering a more controlled album, interested just as much in kicking ass as telling a story. ‘Now We Can See’ followed suit in 2009. The group’s second concept album shifted from a politico-religious story to more of a personal philosophical aesthetic.
Running the gamut from a violent, angst-punk band to a sophisticated mainstay of modern music I didn’t know where ‘Personal Life’, their newest album, would land on the spectrum.
After diving in to the album and digesting as much as I could, I’m still not sure. A forlorn, unavoidable aloneness seems to permeate the beginning of the album, which might not be a surprising follow-up to albums about fleeing a failed society followed by an album about a person’s death decay and fading from existence, but the album ends with a kind of understanding or lesson learned about life and its trappings.
Thematically much more interested in a singular, personal relationship; a shift from the grand ideas of their last 2 albums and a shift towards ‘Fuckin A’, the album strikes me as a retrospect of the first youthful foray into a relationship. The thematic motif mirrors the sound of the album dwelling on the lilting adolescent delivery of “You Changed My Life” and naivety of “I’m Gonna Change Your Life”.
The teenage mentality begins to dissolve with the disappointed “Power Lies” and the hopelessly down-tone “Alone, a Fool”, but the brightness resumes with “Your Love Is So Strong” and finishes out the album. While initially seeming juvenile sapience seeps in to the latter tracks concluding with a feeling of lessons learned along the way.
From beginning to end the album follows the arc of a wide-eyed youth infatuation. To me the ability to sound mature and comfortable telling the story of juvenile awkward relationship proves exciting aptitude. It seems The Thermals are indeed easing into a sound that is undeniably The Thermals and I love it

~JM

This is Happening

2010-05-27T19:07:00.005-04:00

I find myself becoming a bigger and bigger fan of electronic music. With Crystal Castles newest (great) album and now LCD Soundsystem, I think it safe to declare myself a fan of the genre.

"The Is Happening" The new jaun from LCD Soundsystem blends absurdity with unrivaled timing and skill to create one of the most confusing mixes of aural assault I've experienced in months. Track one, "Dance Yourself Clean" is a perfect example of the phenomena. The song starts with humorous, almost silly, lyrics told in a lazy drawl only to give way to obnoxiously awesome synth face melting later in the song.

The bipolarity of the album creates, rather than anger, a sense of frenetic, carefree, happiness. "Drunk Girls", for example, the second track and first single is a jaunty romp that gives the feeling that LCD Soundsystem is playing at party that you are attending (perhaps at my house... my house). Gang vocals and unflappably upbeat, the song hides deep and somber lyrics beneath.

My personal favourite track on the album, "I Can Change", exhibits the lyrical (and mostly thematic) depth that I didn't expect from the album in a really easy to swallow and comprehend candy-coated package. The mournful and longing lyrics are delivered beautifully. The song, to me, is a beautiful summary of modern romance and its split personality.

I also feel I would be remiss if I didn't mention another opus off the album "Pow Pow". I think Mr. Murphy has either been listening to too much Talking Heads or just hanging out with David Byrn too much. It is a 8 minute spoken word gem riddled with things than remind me unmistakably of the state of the world 10 years before my birth.

The album, not only ensured my love of the electronic genre, but reinvigorated my appreciation for wordplay. I would most definitely recommend a DL asap.

~JM

Brothers

2010-05-12T11:59:00.004-04:00

I just got the new Black Keys album a bit early (retails on May 18th in the US) and I gotta say: After listening to their other most recent album "Attack & Release" I was expecting more of the same... the glorious blues rocky same, but I was surprised (both pleasantly and not so) at the differences.

The first song (and what I assume will be a single) "Everlasting Light" starts with a kind of poppy base and drum line that would feel at home in a funky Passion Pit song gives way to distorted falsetto Dan Auerbach vocals that... also feel a little Passion-Pitty. You can see, now, why I was so thrown when first listening, but hell... I like Passion Pit so it was fun. I was worried, however, that the rest of the album would also be a departure from what I tend to expect from the traditional blues jamming duo.

The kind of experimental, less raw instrumentals feel equally at home in the next song "Next Girl" as well, but it feels more like the Black Keys. I guess I shouldn't be surprised at this more synthy transition in their style. It does seem to be in vogue these days (see: Contra - Vampire Weekend, LP - Discovery, et all) and they HAVE kind of been easing their listener-base into the feel with Attack & Release being produced by Danger Mouse and Blakroc featuring Black Keys hip-hop loops.

Interestingly enough, the change to the more relevant, post-production-heavy, style that The Black Keys seem to have latched onto for this album doesn't always produce tracks that feel at home next to the likes of Broken Bells. The penultimate track "Never Gonna Give You Up" (you aren't getting Rick Roll'd I promise) feels like it was released by a soulful 4 piece from the 60's. It's a kind of eclectic feel, but I do like it.

While this change in style doesn't pervade the album as much as it does on the first track, it is still there on the rest of the album. I will always love "Magic Potion" for the unadulterated ROCK there, but I guess this is how the Black Keys are evolving sonically. While its different, it is by no means bad. In fact its more delicious Black Keys stylings, and that is something I will always be happy to see.

~JM

P.s. If the leaked album art I saw is truly the album art (pictured above) I love the shit out of the Black Keys even more

Why Can't We Be 'Born Free'

2010-04-27T17:48:00.003-04:00

M.I.A. has a new music video. Haven't you heard? Its big news apparently, as CNN writer Lisa France has a nice article about it. It is also, apparently, big news because there is graphic violence and sex in it. After reading hte article I was intrigued so I ventured to find the video.

As the article explained, the video was at one point removed from Youtube much to M.I.A. herself's chagrin. She was quoted as saying (through Twitter)"FUCK UMG [her label] WHO WONT SHOW IT ON YOUTUBE! FOR THE U.S". She then linked the video to her own site where it currently plays on loop. So now ignoring the fire of internet hype-machine (exacerbated by Youtube and stoked by M.I.A.) and focusing on the video itself.

Yes there is graphic nudity and violence. Yes it is almost 9 minutes long. What I don't understand is why this video is such a big deal. I guess I have a unique point of view, not being a college professor on the media or a journalist, but I don't get the hullabaloo. Sure M.I.A. is loving the press, but why are all of these outlets so willing to throw it at her?

Flanel-adorned MTV.com writer James Montgomery hails M.I.A. as being bold and citing this video as "A reason I love M.I.A." Maybe I am just so desensitized to the things this video shows, but it is simple sensationalism. This isn't to say I didn't like the video or that I felt it had no impact. I just don't think the danger surrounding this video is deserved.

M.I.A., for those who don't know is the daughter of a Sri Lankan revolutionary and has always been a little volatile with political messages. The message in this video, while volatile is clear(not warranting response tweets like user Ziggy0Stardust's "@ M.I.A. can u tell us what u were tryin [sic] to say wiv [sic] the born free vid please". The events in the video are an allegory for the current times. The redheaded children that are rounded up and killed are a placeholder for any ethnicity, religion, or group that is oppressed.

Redheaded people are the perfect group to be oppressed in the video with the satire already surrounding the minority (see southpark), but more-so for the knee-jerk reaction that most have when seeing it. I heard "Why redheads?" more than once while on-lookers watched the video for the first time. This is one of the most roaring successes of the video. A viewer is forced to ask this question and then consider "Why Arabs?" or "Why Mexican immigrants?". While obviously the prejudice held against some of these groups is not as extreme as that held in the video, the point stands.

The video, and the brutality therein, also forces viewers to think about those carrying out the violence. While they do bear resemblance to American riot police or SWAT members, they are never explicitly stated as such (a point that Montgomery doesn't seem to realize). They bear no insignias and are completely dehumanized. They carry certain symbols of totalitarian police oppression like the riot shield, gas mask, and M16 to further reinforce the anonymity and universal-ness of the oppressors. The viewer gets the sick feeling in their stomach that this could happen tomorrow or even that this has already happened.

The vaguely European looking redheaded children in the video also reinforce the gritty realism of the video. They don't look like movie stars or poster children. They look like that kid from down the street or a grammar school friend. Their moroseness and helplessness and then absolute fear seem genuine and I must applaud both the actors and casting director for another success in the video.

It isn't all blood soaked rainbows and unicorns however, for the video. Some shots in the video just seem unnecessary and there so people will talk about them. I'm sure M.I.A. realizes this, but they don't contribute to the video as a whole. Call me a critic or whatever, but the sex scene exists in the video simply so people like Linda France can say the video not only has graphic violence, it also has sex. It covers all the controversy bases so now chumps like me are writing about it.

I suggest you watch the video, regardless of my feelings, and generate your own opinion. It can be found at MIAUK.com and I'm sure it will remain there for a while. It /is/ graphic so... whatever.

~Mike

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I'm Back or Wolf Parade!

2009-05-29T13:47:00.008-04:00

lets pretend there WASN'T a 1 year break between my last post and now

Last.fm tells me that Wolf Parade is like Ra Ra Riot, Born Ruffians, and Arcade Fire so I decided to give them a listen. I got their premier cd, Apologies to the Queen Mary, and enjoyed the slow cacophonous opening of the intro track of the album (You are a Runner and I am my Father's Son).

The album kind of picks up with the second track, Modern World. I feel the Born Ruffians style a bit more with this song with an almost Modest-Mouse-meets-Delta-Spirit-style vocal delivery. I feel like Last.fm was right on the money, as the instrumentals remind me of Ra Ra Riot's baroque-popish instrumentation mixed with the eerie echoes of Arcade Fire. The song is definitely catchy and almost Shin-like.

Grounds for Divorce continues the album with a style unmistakably similar to my other favourite indie bands, but with a twinge of unique and interesting added in. It's like straight up indie rock with a spacey and almost psychedelic twinge. I guess I shouldn't be surprised of these similarities as they share a label with The Shins and were signed to it by Modest Mouse's Issac Brock.

The album is consistently catchy and musically solid, ranging tonally from eerie and down-toned This is a Long Drive... to frenetic and exasperated.

The style becomes familiar after a short stint on the album, but doesn't grow stale until the 10th or 11th track. This is, however, of no detriment to the band as I have an extremely low attention span.

Check out the album or take a listen at their Myspace

~Mike

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Hank Hates Us All

2008-06-17T15:09:00.004-04:00

I recently started watching Californication on Showtime and find it ironically engrossing. The irony of the situation arises from the title character's own vehement hatred to blogging and the idea of the internet.

Hank, played by David Duchovny, is a writer trying desperately to write another book despite his many vices and lack of inspiration. Hank fights his fate as a "One hit wonder" author after his novel "God Hates Us All" becomes popular and is adapted into a crowd-pleasing, but literarily disappointing film.

His obstacles to writing are alcohol, casual sex, the fact that people are stupid (If Orwell was a bit more pissed when he wrote "Politics and the English Language"), and being away from his home city of New York (Think if Bukowski ever left L.A.). Despite his pitiful situation, Hank is a likable guy with some flaws. He is hateful, condescending, and irreverent, but seems like a fun guy to hang out with.

Duchovny plays the role well. You can believe he is an artist who is only identified with one thing and has come to resent the world in which he resides... The show is entertaining, albeit sexually gratuitous. It’s like the creator of the show really wanted to milk the fact that it is on Showtime rather than a basic network.

Definitely not for the chiddlins, but entertaining television.

Drop Box

2008-05-30T16:32:00.009-04:00

What a cool program. I was just shown Dropbox by a friend (Chris of Wtair) and I must say that it is one of the coolest pieces of software I have ever seen. Essentially it is a glorified HTTP server, but it works much more smoothly than any other I have seen.

After downloading the program a folder appears on your desktop, but it isn't just any folder. This folder is a window to another world (or just the internet...)! Any file you put in the folder can be accessed from your personal page online, but apart from just uploading the file you can share the file.

Though it may not sound that impressive, using this program makes collaborating with someone much easier through the internet. Whenever I finish a small part of a collaborative project, I just toss it into the Dropbox folder and within seconds Chris (the other part of the project) can access it in the public folder on his desktop just as I can. Also pretty cool about Dropbox is that it works on both Windows and Macs (breaking all kinds of barriers!).

Currently this program is in beta stages with a folder size limit of just over 2 gigs. I assume once the project goes live it will cost money, but even at this early stage it seems worth lots.

~Mike

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Stay Classy, World!

2008-05-12T18:45:00.004-04:00

Here is a post I found on the internet and think is both accurate and funny. The advice is mostly solid as I try to live most of the points mentioned. Give it a read if you feel so inclined.

How to Be Classy

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Being classy is not about being stuck up; it is about having style and taking care to be polite to others and to reflect a genuine interest in them. It is also about being confident in yourself. This article will teach you how to move through life with class and ease.

Steps

Choose your battles; choose your friends. Few battles are truly worth fighting. Stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves (mentally disabled, animals, children, etc). Be wary of those who appear to enjoy bickering. If someone is rude to you, either ignore them completely (recommended) or, once you have completely calmed down and are thinking clearly, explain how you perceived their actions and work towards a resolution. Never stoop to their level, and do not be hasty. Surround yourself with positive, polite people who encourage and live your classy, intelligent lifestyle.
Choose your words. The classy individual listens more than they speak. Having a strong vocabulary is important, but do not use a word unless you are certain of its meaning. Use words to express yourself lucidly. Importantly, do not correct others when they use improper grammar. Differences in background, family life, and education cause people to speak differently, and often people use slang for effect. More than this, it is irritating and degrading to be corrected by a know-it-all. Do not insult, gossip, or slander. When necessary, voice your opinions appropriately and constructively. This encourages your audience to listen carefully when you speak.
Do not be a doormat. You must be courteous, but do not bend over backwards to please others. If you do, you may find yourself being taken advantage of in the future. Limit your time and availability and draw boundaries with others so that they are aware of your limits.
Break the stereotype shackles. More often than not, using labels in any way, whether to identify yourself or others, shows a lack of creativity, lethargic social skills, and a lack of careful observation. Give everyone respect and the benefit of the doubt.
Be assertive. Avoid passive-aggressive thinking; this is likely to trip you up eventually. Assertiveness demonstrates maturity, thoughtfulness, and confidence. Class requires balance, and assertiveness is a prime example of this concept.
Make sure your clothes fit well and that you are well groomed. Excellent presentation is half of the battle. Wear clothing and accessories which flatter your body and never wear anything you feel uncomfortable in. It is important to remember that modesty is key in earning the respect of others. A bit of cleavage may be fashionable, but true gentlemen will appreciate modesty more than exposure.
Avoid getting caught up in trends. There is nothing wrong with enjoying fashion or buying clothing you find attractive, but it is important to stay in control. Do not become a slave to fashion, or you may be regarded as foolish, "high maintenance", and/or shallow. The clothing you wear should enhance your personality, not create or alter it. This advice can be applied to many aspects of life in which you may feel pressured to "fit in."
Avoid desperate behavior like the plague. This is the kiss of death for the classy person. Only desperate times call for desperate measures. Take a deep breath, be strong, and move through the situation with elegance and grace. You will be the victor for it, no matter the outcome.
Seek wisdom. As difficult as it can be to heed the advice of those more experienced than yourself, it is a necessary step at times. No matter your age or ability, allow yourself to learn from the mistakes and victories of those older or more experienced than you. You will win their favor and be available to pass on your own wisdom or advice.
Be open to personal development. Do not berate yourself, but be receptive to constructive change. In our world, change is inevitable. Be a positive and flexible part of it and show others the way as well. Face life rather than burying your head in the sand and others will know instinctively that you are someone whose opinion counts.
Carefully consider tattoos and piercings. Let's face it: it is easy to judge by appearance. Therefore, take careful consideration when deciding if it is a good idea for you to get visible tattoos or body piercings. Even though a person’s outward appearance does not automatically show his or her inner qualities, appearances can reflect how a person is willing to be perceived by the world. Job opportunities may be limited by such an expression. Also keep in mind that although tattoos and piercings are expressions of individuality, they can be permanent or difficult (even costly) to remove. If you are in doubt about how a tattoo or piercing will impact you in the future, find another way to express yourself.
Be knowledgeable and aware. It is wise to become politically, culturally, and religiously aware. Even the most basic knowledge can save a person from embarrassment and awkwardness. If you know in advance that you will be spending time with someone of an unfamiliar background, it is a good idea to do more in-depth research to avoid embarrassing faux pas.

Warnings

Changing your behavior may feel unnatural. If it does, remind yourself that you are a work in progress. A classy person is simply one who consistently exhibits classy behavior. Focus on your behavior and attitude rather than your feelings.
If you slip up, forgive yourself, apologize to anyone who may have been hurt by your not-so-classy behavior, and continue on your way. That's classy!

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Be Classy. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

The Slip

2008-05-05T18:46:00.004-04:00

In another ridiculously cool, pirate-friendly, move, Trent Reznor and Nine Inch Nails have just released their new CD online... FOR FREE.

Nine Inch Nails has always talked the piracy talk, but now it appears they are finally walking the walk. Some would argue that their previous albums Ghosts were free, but as an entirely instrumental release, some felt a bit gypped. With this full release, we can assume that the band really means it this time.

As my friend pointed out you can't even pay for this release if you want to. Trent will not take your money. He evens encourages people to hand out the CD to strangers (like I will surely do). DL it now because there is no reason not to. A full review will come in time.

~Mike

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Narrow Stairs

2008-05-04T23:19:00.005-04:00

I have never listened to Death Cab For Cutie before, and honestly the seemingly silly name was a deterring factor. I was recently handed a copy of their new album "Narrow Stairs" and I must say that I am impressed.

The album is very catchy and contains the kinds of songs that get stuck in your head all day. The album, as described by lead singer Ben Gibbard, is "creepy", "weird", and "more dissonant [than previous albums]". After listening extensively to the album I can confirm these statements, but also qualify them. It is the good weird and abrasive.

On first listening tracks like the introductory Bixby Canyon Bridge, the single I Will Possess Your Heart, and Grapevine Fires caught my attention. The slow and deliberate euphony of the premier track is mesmerizing. The calm melody gives way to intriguing lyrics and a powerful guitar riff.

The miasmatic bass and piano of the second track's extensive opening is equally enthralling. It remains calm and hypnotizing while exuding strong emotion and power. As long as the intro is (about 4 minutes) I never get bored listening to the entire 8 minute track. The somewhat creepy lyrics of the song are delivered flawlessly by Gibbard's unique voice and are framed by the precise drumwork of Jason McGerr.

The CD is full of memorable moments and endearing quirks. Gibbard was definitely accurate in his description of a slightly "creepy" and dissonant" album, but the idiosyncrasies work wholly in its favor. Narrow Stairs is an indisputable addition to my list of favourite albums. And as an added plus, the album art is absolutely fantastic. I recomend the album with confidence.

~Mike

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Welcome Back to Liberty City

2008-04-30T11:12:00.003-04:00

Our first outing in the land of the free and the home of the impulsively violent can be remembered at best as clunky. GTA 3's controls were less than solid and more than annoying. I explicitly remember trying to shoot a man who was shooting me and killing EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON on the street before the auto-targeting locked on to him. Yes, it was groundbreaking and revolutionary, but I think people have a tendency to glorify the game a bit.

Rockstar has spared no expenditure of time or money for our second date with one Liberty City. Sure, Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories could be counted as a second date, but I like to think of it as one of those group dates where our relationship never really advanced much. Grand Theft Auto 4 is, to put it simply, AWESOME!

Everything good about the past GTA games is there minus some fluff (who really needs a jetpack anyway?). There are cars, guns, missions, pedestrians, cops, helicopters, bikes, clothes, and even hookers!

One thing that GTA 4 has that has been sadly absent from other entries in the series is a deep and compelling protagonist. All the way back to the infancy of the series in the original Grand Theft Auto the protagonist has been little more than a faceless murder-machine. Rockstar seemed to try to remedy this a bit in San Andreas, but fell a bit short. As I am sure you have heard from innumerable sources, Niko Bellic is a the kind of guy you wouldn't mind hanging out with.

Niko has emotions! From the first murder you commit in Liberty City Niko expresses resentment of his actions. "I told myself I wouldn't kill anyone here." He says, as he watches a stabbed a bloodied drug dealer fall off a pier. These morals, as useless as they may seem to the majority of people who bought this game, do not impede the play process though. You can still massacre people to your heart's content.

It is hard to say anything about the game that hasn't already been said by IGN, Gamespot, or 1up. The game is great. If you have a 360 or a PS3 the odds are you already have it or plan on getting it soon. I recommend this course of action. You will likely be ostracized if you hold any sort of association with gamers and do not have this game. Take this as a warning!

Play the game. NOW

~Mike

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I am Happy to Have a Vampire Weekend

2008-04-09T20:10:00.007-04:00

We interrupt this string of Nerdcore posts for an important Indie update...

I have lately been listening to some freakishly good music from a band with a freakishly cool name: Vampire Weekend. It would seem I missed the 'popular train', but apparently they achieved some minor internets fame. Regardless of my continuous string of tardiness, I will tell you about them.

When I heard this band I pictured a couple of guys from an urban area in Africa who liked the western sound and added their local flavour to make a symphony of awesome. When I looked up a picture of the band (and their history) I felt like an idiot.I found out that they are, not only shape-shifters pretending to look like some white kids from suburbia, but a couple of friends from Columbia university who are fantastic musicians.

Their debut CD, Vampire Weekend, starts with the almost Reggae sounding Mansard Roof. The exotic instruments found in the song further enhance the African vibe. With the almost-tribal sound of the instrumentals, it is funny to hear lyrics about colonial architecture and city life. The song itself is upbeat and fun, warranting a spot on my "favourite song" list.

Track two happens to be another of my favourites, which lends me to believe these Vampires know a thing or two about starting a CD right. Oxford Comma, as the second track is called, features more conventional instrumentals (with a few exotic sounds that I couldn't recognize) and some fun; using-songy, but intelligent lyrics. A fun song indeed.

A quick and punk-y bassline can be heard prominently in Track 3, A-Punk. The seemingly conventional sounds of the intro made me think that the African vibe was only meant to be in track 1, but once the vocals picked up, I caught the Souke vibe again.

I followed the Souke vibe to track 4 entitled Ape Cod Kwassa Kwassa. It features some great vocals (subdued at some points but quick transitions to more reggae shouting). I really like the laid-back nature of the song. It shows the range of the band that they can play such upbeat and fast songs like A-Punk and switch to slower, more heart-felt vocals. A credit to the band, though not one of my favourites.

Next is M79. The lyrics of the 5th track are great. The use of metaphor to describe New York are fantastically entertaining. This is another of my multitudinous favourite tracks off the album. The classical instruments make the song either sophisticated or satiric... I assume the latter, as the band seems anything but serious in their songs. It's hard to explain the mixture of classical background with African sounding Indie vocals, so instead I say... LISTEN!

The next song, Campus, makes me think that the band enjoys what they do. A quick bassline, reminiscent of A-Punk mixed with the everyday narrative of the song make for a fun but identifiable love story between a teacher and a student at university. Its either hilarious or sad, I can't tell which.

The next song, Bryn, and the one two tracks away (I Stand Corrected) where my two least favourite. Its hard to pick least favourites because they both have redeeming factors. The meaningful and deep lyrics and cello in the two songs (respectively) are nice, but against the other songs don't jump out at me. Similar is the sandwiched track, One, it's fun, but gets annoying as the track drags on.

Walcott, track 20, lends some story to the album and the name of the band/album. The band members say the name shares the same name as a film they made about a boy who has to go to slay vampires by order of an elder. The lyrics seem meaningless until hearing the story at which time they become funny and dragged me into the story. It is a good way to end the album.

Its a great album with a very fun sound. I recommend it highly and listen to it thoroughly. Pick it up anywhere that records are sold! or... something.

~Mike

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Nerdcore Could Rise Up

2008-03-16T21:16:00.004-04:00

My last post was a short look at the Nerdcore scene. We looked at MC Hawking and Frontalot. I have been listening to a lot of the latter, but have begun to diversify to 2 other big nerdcore names. mc chris and MC Lars. Both have ups and downs and if you care.... keep reading

mc chris, arguably one of the biggest names in nerdcore, sounds like a 10 year old. The fact has to be acknowledged and now that we have, we can move on. His lyrics are rock solid and his flow is good too. The themes of his songs are based on the not-nerd topics of sex and drugs (that aint nerdcore!) but he attacks them with a very geeky diction. Though some of his songs might scare nerds who have never conversed with a female, they are still solid music. Additionally, the CD's of this MC are not just laden with hot tracks. If you are to buy (LOL) or download one of the chris' albums than you get a few skits as well. These skits range from the humorous to the really dumb, but they "break up the monotony" as mc chris says himself. Check him out most definitely.

MC Lars is next week, because I need more time to digest his stylings.

In other news I have started writing another story, but it may take away. It will end up being about a private eye and will hopefully be interesting. Even if you don't care, you could pretend to to make me feel good about myself.

~Mike

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MC Hates My Blog

2008-03-12T17:15:00.005-04:00

While many have most likely never heard of Nerdcore, it is hard to deny that its a fast growing genre. I recently downloaded a compilation of Nerdcore music (which is a combination of hip hop and nerd themes, for those who don't know) and am enjoying it thoroughly. In the compilation downloaded are such artists as MC Frontalot, mc chris, MC Hawking, MC Lars, Beefy, Optimus Rhyme, and a few tracks by Baddd Spellah.

I usually hate rap and hip hop with few exceptions, but I am glad to say that the witty lyrics and fantastic nerd-based beats of the Nerdcore rappers listed above have redeemed my faith in the rap genre. If you think you could enjoy such a random genre and haven't seen it yet, I recommend you watch what is available of "Nerdcore For Life". It is a movie about the genre of nerdcore. TRAILER!

Possibly the most popular nerdcore rapper, MC Frontalot has been featured on Penny Arcade a few times and recently returned the favour with a track entitled "Penny Arcade Theme". He has a pretty extensive library with some great tracks, however some of his songs really suck. I would recomend select tracks off of both Nerdcore Rising and Nerdcore Hip Hop namely This Old Man, Nerdcore Rising, Penny Arcade Theme, Nerdcore Hip Hop, and Special Delivery for some political rapping.

MC Hawking is another great Nerdcore rapper (the famous physicist Stephen Hawking after he took up a rap career with DJ Doomsday). He raps about topics such as entropy, his extensive collection of degrees, and his hatred for "MIT Bitches". While rapping, Hawking uses Microsoft Sam text to voice program to overcome being mute (which gets kind of annoying after a while). While the computerized voice can get somewhat tiresome, hearing MC Hawking talk about being "crazy as fuck" or bitch-slapping punk motherfuckers. He spits on a few tracks with MC Frontalot like "Bitchslap" and Frontalot's "Nerdcore Rising". Check him out in measured doses to avoid being annoyed by the MS Sam voice.

Later this week I will review some other Nerdcore rappers for the masses. Nerdcore For Life.

~Mike

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Jump Off a Cliff

2008-02-20T18:25:00.004-05:00

The scene is a normal one, not uncommon in the life of an everyday teenager. A group of teens sit in a room, looking for something to do. "Lets go to the movies!" Says one young soul. "The movies! What a great idea!" Echoes another "What should we see?". The first teen says to the other "What about Jumper. That looks exciting!"

Freeze frame.

At times like this it is imperative for one to think. "Should I really forsake IMDB's rating of 6 Stars out of 10? Maybe the movie isn't that great." You may then cast aside those preliminary thoughts with a cursory ponderanceand ponder "What do they know at IMDB? They are just a bunch of random people from the internet and that means they are automatically wrong."

Fine. I accept that you may think like that. If you didn't then that would mean you might actually take stock in what I have say, and a world were people listen to what I have to say scares the shit out of me.

With all this appraisal, I implore you to consider the point of view of some professionals like those at Rotten Tomatoes. "Their reviews of FOURTEEN percent probably come from their high-faloot'n point of view as artsy hippies." You say surrounded by your peers who nod in approval. "Those chumps at Rotten Tomatoes give everything a bad rating."

Whatever. Totally ignore these critics. Fine, but consider my opinion (lolz, yeah right. am-I-right?):

The movie was terrible. The ghost of a plot was swallowed up by the terrible acting and annoying characters that made themselves incessantly apparent throughout the film. Whenever I began to forget the ghastly shell of a film in favor of thoughts of how cool it would be to teleport like the people in the movie, the painfully caustic cast members grated against my last nerve.

It seems like they made a rough draft of a film and then meant to bring the reel to the test audience rather than the real audiences. The main character, played by Hayden Christiansen, has little to no character development throughout the film apart from an "everyman" characterization; and it seems the director decided to add an awkward love interest halfway through the film.

After watching the movie I am forced to think that Rachel Bilson auditioned for the role of "Nagging, whiny girlfriend who is moderately attractive, but NEVER shuts the hell up", and if that is the role for which she auditioned then she deserves the goddamn best actress Oscar nomination.

If you have 10 dollars and think it would be great to go see a movie... go see Juno or... rent a better movie. I think 3:10 to Yuma is out on DVD. See that fantastic film.

~Mike

_\\//

The Battlestar Cometh

2008-02-10T13:02:00.007-05:00

While muddling through a multitude of topics to write about, I happened upon a life-changing commercial, a simple commercial, a commercial I wish I could fucking find on the internet. The commercial had a simple message. "Battlestar Galactica is coming." and its season 4 is coming soon. It comes in March.

As could be inferred by the name of this blog, I am a fan of Battlestar Galactica. I think it is a fantastic show that should have appeal to even those who dislike science fiction. The show is a dramatic and suspenseful masterpiece. I am proud to say that I converted a friend to the BSG faith.

If you, the reader, have any access to Battlestar Galactica DVDs or Mpegs or ANYTHING! I implore you to watch it or at least read my previous review of BSG. Since the posting of the last review some things have changed. You may notice that despite the hopes and prayers of sci-fi fans across the country, the newest season that was scheduled for release in December was pushed back 3 months due to the recently ended writers strike. Also, I have gone from a rather tentative fan of the series to a die-hard fan who values BSG on the same level as the much-revered Star Trek.

In this really... insubstantive update, I hope that I can divert your attention from my lack of writing with this shiny commercial!

Hey look over here!

Tune in to Battlestar Galactica on the Sci Fi channel this March for some of the best television entertainment I have seen in years.

~Mike

_\\//

I Promise!

2008-02-07T16:34:00.000-05:00

The Cinematic Masterpiece That is Cloverfield

2008-01-18T12:13:00.001-05:00

Upon first hearing of Cloverfield, I was skeptical. The idea, though vague, seemed like something that could be kinda cool... or really shitty. As the release date for the movie steeped in mystery came closer, I unconsciously became more and more excited waiting for it. The movie had grabbed me ferociously without my knowledge and tossed me into the frenzy that is the hype-machine.

I found myself rooting through theories and prospects concerning the movie from what the monster looks like to why the film was titled "Cloverfield". But yesterday... yesterday the movie was released (I love midnight showings in crisp, clean DLP). It was one of the few films that I have ever anxiously awaited that lived up to my outlandishly high expectations.

The film was a masterpiece. As I am sure most of you know, the events of the film were seen through the eyes of a simple citizen of New York recording the happenings through a video camcorder. A party is interrupted by explosions that rock the city, and without giving away too much plot, hell breaks loose.

I would really hate to accidentally ruin the movie for you, so I will be brief on details. In short, the movie is a credit to the Kaiju genre (if it can be called that). I hope to see the monster celebrated on a scale of Godzilla. In fact... I would thoroughly enjoy to see the Cloverfield monster attempt to take over Japan with the two monster's locked in epic mortal combat for the fate of Japan.

Critics have been talking about how the movie is disrespectful to the memory of 9/11 Scott "Rudy Giuliani" Foundas of LA Weekly described the events in Cloverfield "cheap and opportunistic". Calling Cloverfield cheap and opportunistic in regards to the tragedy of 9/11 is like saying Godzilla is cheap and opportunistic, benefiting off of the sad memory of Hiroshima. The movie is simply unrelated to 9/11 and to draw the parallel, one must think any destruction of New York City cheap and opportunistic. People who over-analyze things piss me off.

The movie is quickly paced, uniquely and magnificently directed (the first person view was the perfect, neigh the ONLY way to show the movie), and acted... adequately. If I had any problems with the movie the mediocre acting would be one. Another would be the lack of character development. I believed that some of the characters could have become likable and endearing with time, but the 90 minute time limit on the movie constricted it shortly. Speaking of the time limit, though it furthered the idea of in-character watching, I just wanted more! Call me selfish, but I would have been ecstatic if the movie went on for another 90 minutes.

That being said... I don't know how well a direct sequel will do. The veil of shadow and uncertainty about the movie and the monster are gone. The freshness of the first person view is fading, and ... I mean... New York is already mangled... Will the monster move to another city or something? I find this conundrum similar to that of Portal. Do we REALLY want a sequel? .

In short... See Cloverfield... now...

I'll wait...

Seen it yet?

~Mike

_\\//

The Downward Spiral pt.3

2007-12-24T14:40:00.000-05:00

Here is part 3 to my short story The Downward Spiral. If you didn't catch the other parts they are as follows:

Part 1
Part 2

[Henri’s Quarters]

Henri sat in his quarters against a wall on the floor. He left the bridge and had immediately gone to his room. Why bother going anywhere else? He leaned against the wall, a few feet from the door with his head in his hands. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to thrash about the room and tear it apart. There was no point. What could he do that wouldn't be fixed in a few seconds by the plunders of modern technology? What could he do to break the cycle

He rose from the floor with a groan and hovered to the replicator. "Whiskey" was all he said in a gruff voice.

{Synthohol is all that is available aboard Starfleet vessels. Would you like Synthohol whiskey?}, the computer replied, in a response warmer than Henri had received in days. Disgusted by the jovial reply, Russo swung a punch at the machine and heard a crack. He wasn't sure if it was the polymer on the replicator or the bones of his hand. He was numb to sensation of any kind. Without the relief of vacation from consciousness, Henri tripped back to his spot on the wall, in between his bed and the door. Sitting, Henri reached under his bed for a small, metal box.

With his legs outstretched, he slid the box in between them. The box could end this void of feeling in his pitiable life. The box could erase his apathy. Russo left the box where it was and resumed his stance, head in hands, against the wall. The pathetic lieutenant could make nothing different in life. His childhood made no mark on the world. His career in Starfleet made no one's planet a better place to be. He was in charge of power distribution of a star ship, a task that he could have automated months ago. He was a worthless cog that could be taken out of the machine with no consequence to the rest of the rushing locomotive of the crew. So why shouldn't he. Why shouldn't he take himself out of the gears of the locomotive?

Henri slapped the lid off of the box and reached for the glinting savior inside. The box could perpetuate the status quo, but without the worthless cog. Efficiency at work. Evolution in a sense. Natural Selection at its finest. The self-removal of the weak. What else could Darwin have asked for?

Henri held the Carbon-fiber Conservator to his chin and sighed. Why shouldn't he? There would be a short investigation, an open-and-shut case. No harm to anyone, just the automation of banal duties and a story to tell the new recruits; The Ops officer that went off the deep end. Even if he was remembered as a crazy and a basket-case, is being remembered as a perverted crack-pot any worse than not being remembered at all? The cold metal of the messiah at his chin was warming. His decision was made and it was time for decisive action.

Henri tensed his hand to pull the trigger, but nothing happened. Brain waves sent the message to the nerves. Nerves told the muscles to move. Tendons tightened and ligaments constricted. The broken bones of Henri's fingers slackened the muscles and nothing happened. Nothing. Just as every other moment in Henri's pathetic life, nothing happened.

Henri dropped the ancient hand gun from his limp hand to the floor beside him and replaced his head in his hands. As he sat in the dark corner, Henri Russo wept.

And that's all folks. I plan on writing some other fiction sometime soon. And for those who celebrate it, Happy Christmas.

~Mike

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The Return of the Coen Brothers

2007-12-22T00:18:00.001-05:00

The latest piece of cinematic art from the Coen Brothers (Fargo, The Big Lebowski) is an absolute gem. No Country For Old Men stars big names such as Tommy Lee Jones and Woody Harelson, but the stunning performances came from lesser known actors Josh Brolin (as the quick-thinking Llewelyn Moss) and Javier Bardrm (A quirky and esoteric South American assassin).

In the beginning of the film the plot is believable and rather straight-forward. As the film progresses, so many ridiculous happenings convolute the plot into something strange yet still endearing. Brolin's character finds some money that is presumably part of some illicit deal. The enforcer for the less-than-legal organization takes up the cause of chasing Brolin in an attempt to get the case back.

Another perplexing, but captivating facet of the movie is the minimalistic and peculiar nature with which the movie is directed. There is little dialog and when it is there it is... unique. No one ever really mentions anything about the motivation of the assassin, only that he means to kill Llewelyn. No one mentions where the money came from, only that it is there.

These omissions from the plot are more than just plot-holes because they allow the viewer to decide what they want to happen or what they hope will happen (and I can almost guarantee the viewer rooting for SOME character). The characters are so alluring due to the fantastic writing of the Coen Brothers and all of the aberrations that make them so unique.

The assassin, for example, carries around what appears to be an air tank with some attachment. Without spoiling anything, he uses the device for multiple purposes from punching in locks to killing people. I mean.... WHAT? An AIRTANK?

No Country For Old Men is cinematic gold. This film will gladly be added to the ranks of favourite films along with the Coen Brother's other masterpieces such as Fargo and The Big Lebowski.

~Mike

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A Cop-Out!

2007-12-17T22:22:00.000-05:00

I have a couple writing assignments due soon so without further adieu...... a guest review! Emily Senerth writes about Jimmy Eat World's newest album Chase This Light!

I heard the Jimmy Eat World album ‘Chase This Light’ for the first time about a week ago. In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll admit that my previous experience with this band is limited to the radio play of their single ‘The Middle’ in 2001, despite ‘Chase This Light’ being their sixth album. I think someone tried to introduce me to their mid-90s stuff when they hit the mainstream, but I’d be lying if I said I was paying attention.

My first impressions of these songs after an initial run-though are as follows: This album is fairly consistent with my preconceptions of what the band would sound like. Every track is guitar-driven, with a pulsing guitar chord beating just beneath the vocals and establishing the energy of the instrumentals. Despite being perhaps the most distinctive musical element, the guitar sounds [though probably isn’t] fairly simple, but somehow is not boring. Another thing I noticed almost immediately is that, despite the band’s possible intentions, no track distinguishes itself as a single. I was pleased to observe the absence of any contrived melodic ‘hooks.’ On the other hand, the musical landscape of ‘Chase This Light’ is cohesive almost to the point of being monotonous. This is not a CD that I would seek out in a playlist of 100+ songs, however, there isn’t a song I would skip over either.

After going though the album again, I began to hear the lyrics a bit more. They are generally optimistic little snippets of life as a young, middle class, introspective suburbanite. I will refrain from using the word ‘emo’ because that label is totally played out at this point, though I’m sure some would characterize ‘Chase This Light’ that way. Overall, I wasn’t a fan of their word choice as it tended to be trite and occasionally nonsensical. Fortunately, it’s not hard to let the vocals fade into the larger sound of each track.

I found it difficult to review individual tracks because- as I mentioned before- they are by and large very similar, all being consistent with the Jimmy Eat World aesthetic. The songs best distinguish themselves when listened to side-by-side. In a close comparison, nuances in the composition are recognizable, but do not interfere with the overall continuity of the album. This is not, in my opinion, a CD of disjointed Top-40 singles produced by Pharell Williams for some token alt rock band like Fall Out Boy. Rather, it’s a purposefully unpolished, occasionally soulful collection of riffs on the band’s established talents and distinctive sound. If you like Jimmy Eat World, you will enjoy this album. In fact, the more I listened to ‘Chase This Light,’ the more I enjoyed it.

That being said, here are my highlights and lowlights:

Highlights - Big Casino [First track starts the album off on a high note, sets the tone for the rest of the listening 'journey'], Feeling Lucky [a relief after the dragging Gotta Be Somebody's Blues], Here It Goes [I enjoyed the harmonizing of the vocals here], Firefight [my personal favorite, good balance between the dissonant vocals and guitar, steps outside the 'I'm a teenager with big dreams' trope and exhibits a little more imagination, demands attention]

Lowlights - Carry You [Slows the overall tempo, somewhat maudlin, not my favorite song], Gotta Be Somebody's Blues [they're trying for eerie and searching, but miss the mark by overshooting], Chase This Light [as the title track, I had some expectations for this song that were not realized by the actual piece, it was one of the cornier tracks on the album]

Finally, not a matter of opinion is that ‘Chase This Light’- like any music worth listening to- should be listened to at top volume; preferably while driving fast, walking through a crowd, or doing some soul-sucking chore like emptying the dishwasher. It might get you a noise complaint from the neighbors, but it will be worth it.

If you enjoy this album, I would recommend Angels and Airwaves, Shiny Toy Guns, and Mates of State.

The Downward Spiral pt.2

2007-12-16T21:39:00.000-05:00

I recently posted the first part of a 3 part story entitled The Downward Spiral. If you didn't catch part one, you can get it here.

[Bridge]

Henri walked onto the pristine bridge 5 minutes late for his shift in a drunken haze. Not a word of reprimand or welcome met his ears. He sauntered to the empty ops station and sat in the cold, industrial seat with a grimace. ~So too is life~ he thought to himself ~Cold and unwelcoming. ~ Henri let out a pitiable laugh and began his belated duties. ~Why the hell am I an Ops officer? I always knew I was good at that philosophy crap. ~ Russo looked around the bridge at all of the blank faces. The entire bridge crew was absorbed by their work except for Russo.

The muted gray tones of the bridge cast an ashen hue on Henri’s face as he surveyed the sterile room. The high ceiling of the room made it even more impersonal. If the bridge was a person, it would be without a pulse. Officers stood at the wall-mounted computer consoles and did their duty unflinchingly and unwaveringly. They were the kind of people who could be counted on in a crisis situation. They would keep the shit from hitting the fan. Henri wasn’t one of those officers.

He tapped at the console in a detached nature. He didn't care about his work, he didn't care what might happen if he neglected his duties, he didn't care about the crew, he didn't care about himself. To Henri, Life just didn't seem to be worth all that much.

It had been 10 minutes since he had arrived, late, but Henri turned to face the man sitting in the captain's chair and asked robotically, "I am not feeling well sir. May I please visit sickbay."

The nameless Lieutenant Commander nodded unemphatically and returned his gaze back to the view screen, on which stars whizzed by in the empty blackness of space.

Henri rose from his chair surveyed the dead silence of the bridge. Not a word of sympathy or goodbye met his ears. He sauntered to the empty turbolift and entered the bland, confined cylinder with a grimace. ~So too is life...~

part 3 next monday. It is a bit longer than this one. I hope you like how it all comes out.

~Mike

_\\//

The End of the Television As We Know It

2007-12-10T20:57:00.000-05:00

NBC, Newscorp, FOX, Bravo, Scifi, FX, and more have recently created a website with which they stream their hit (and otherwise) shows for free to viewers across the world. The site is called Hulu, and it might just be the first step in the destruction of television.

Hulu streams hundreds of episodes from many of the most popular series on television with limited commercial interruptions (less than on TV) and no service charge. The medium quality videos are played on a smooth, ergonomic interface with decent sound quality.

The system is not without flaws however. Though the comment system seems like a nice addition to the experience of watching Heroes and The Office, I can see it becoming extremely out of hand. There is a reason that there are no user comments on television....

I foresee many hateful people and trolls posting asinine comments and spoilers simply for the sake of angering others. Without constant moderation on all of the thousands of videos posted on the site, the system for leaving comments will be littered with inane hate-speech and show-ruining garbage.

With some hard work and commitment, all of the networks that have posted videos on the site could see a markable increase in web 2.0 profit (if this whole writer strike things EVER gets fixed...). When the site comes out of closed beta I will write another check up on the so-far-quality service.

~Mike

_\\//

The Downward Spiral pt.1

2007-12-10T16:48:00.000-05:00

The Downward Spiral

By Mike DeMarco

[Henri's Quarters]

Lieutenant Henri Russo sat on the edge of his bed apprehensively. Being transferred to the new ship had been wreaking havoc on his ability to sleep. After another night of exhausted tossing and turning, Henri had awoken, sweat-soaked and with an aching head. He grasped his forehead as he experienced another pulsing shot of pain. The lieutenant surveyed his derelict quarters with disdain. The gloomy room was trashed despite being issued only days before. Clothes lay strewn across the floor, broken replicator dishes lay in piles, the chair that normally stood at the table was toppled, and next to his nightstand, a mundane picture frame lay shattered.

The picture inside was of a decorated soldier in his mid 30's with a child on his shoulder. The unfamiliar room had become a wasteland in Henri's state of neglect. He contemplated visiting sickbay for a headache treatment, but then thought of another remedy. He rose from his bed slowly and groaned as the nagging sting in his head got worse. The young military officer slipped on his uniform and stalked into the hall in search of his self-prescribed medicine.

[Mowgli's Pub]

Henri staggered into the gloomy bar and stopped as he crossed the threshold. A few unfamiliar, gaunt faces stared back at him shortly, before returning to their previous business. The smoke filled bar reeked of industrial cleaner, vomit, and burned out cigars. From the walls hung posters of defunct sports stars and celebrities; all long dead. "At least they were great once." Russo thought to himself as he observed their familiar faces. While Russo approached the bar, the stout alien barkeep made himself visible. Henri sat at the stool closest to the exotic bartender and raised his hand to speak.

"Hello again. You seem to like drinking alone." The bartender said as he dug into his pockets, "If you are going come back here every night, then it would seem to me that introductions are in order. The name's Mowgli." He added with a voice like fish oil. After rummaging through his pockets for a few seconds more he withdrew what looked like an old-time key. "I got something you might like better than this other crap." He said, waving the key in front of Henri and leering, as if the lieutenant should know what was to come.

Turning to a locked cabinet, Mowgli unlocked its redwood door and drew a small glass bottle from within. Henri noticed the greenish color of the liquid inside as the bartender placed it in front of him. "No, actually I wanted-" He was cut off by the bartender in a harsh whisper
"No, this is what you want. I just colored it to allay suspicions."

Henri gave the alien dealer behind the bar a quizzical look to which he replied smugly, "Don't believe me?" He smiled and drew a glass from above the bar. Pouring some of the murky green concoction into the glass, the bartender slyly pushed it to Russo. The hesitant Lieutenant took the glass tentatively and put it to his lips. Throwing his head back, he drained the small portion in the glass and seized forward, accidentally dropping the glass onto the bar. The glass bounced precariously and was snatched up by Mowgli's surprisingly deft hands. "You like it?" he said, with a toothy grin, sure of himself and his product.

Henri opened his mouth but no words came out. He coughed once and nodded, regaining his vocal faculties. "I think I'll take some more" he said, unsure of himself or his choice. His head throbbed in pain again. After the wave of discomfort subsided he looked into the smiling alien's eyes and nodded, silently asking for more of the liquid. Mowgli filled the same glass, this time with more of the volatile liquid before turning to replace to bottle in the locker. Henri stopped him and uttered the disjointed sentence "Naw... you... leave it..." pointing at the bar. The Bartender's smile got larger as he thought of the profit he would reap.

**later***

Henri sprung awake to a loud knocking on the bar. He looked around in a daze to see the sly figure of the barkeep staring over him, cleaning a glass with a rag. The lieutenant rubbed his eyes and pulled his head off of the countertop. His attempt to speak was fruitless "Wha... I... how long?" The foreigner laughed and said "Only a few minutes, though I'm not sure how much of the drinking you remember." He laid the glass down and drew a small bottle that once held colored Romulan ale. "You drank the whole bottle."

"You gotta be kidding me!" Henri said, gaining a little lucidity as he sat upright in his seat with a concerned stare. "I couldn't have... I'm on duty in-" The bartender cut him off again.

"-In 2 hours. Don't worry about it. You were only conked out for 3 and a half hours." He laughed, "I wouldn't let you miss your shift. You're one of my best customers! Without your bar bill, surely I would go out of business!" Mowgli laughed again, this time drawing the stares of the few blank faces left in the bar. "Speaking of payments...." He said, hissing as he uttered the last word almost as if it pained him to mention it. "You're going to have to pay for that stuff... no matter if you remember drinking it or not." another smile crept to his face.

Henri looked at the bartender in a sort of dazed glance. "Ok... I'll pay... Just send the bill to my room...." He rose from his seat and stumbled, grabbing onto the barstool for support. The sudden movement sent a jolt of pain through Henri's head. Tentatively, he put his weight on his feet and released the barstool. As he recovered his footing his head began to twinge slowly again.

Looking at his new 'friend', he said "Do you have some for the road?" After uttering the last word, Henri coughed violently, aggravating the headache. Immediately, the arrogant alien drew another small bottle from under the bar. He placed it on the bar top and looked at Henri gravely. "You'll have to pay for this too, you know?" Henri nodded slightly and made an unintelligible noise of acceptance towards the smooth talking alien. Mowgli slid the bottle towards Henri, who grasped at it ungracefully and walked backwards away from the bar slowly. "Just send the bill-" the lieutenant said, before being cut off for the third time that night. Mowgli smiled and said mockingly,"-to your room. Already done lieutenant. Drive safe."

[Henri's Quarters]

Dropping his uniform onto his littered floor, Henri sat heavily on his bed. He opened the drawer on his bedside table and attempted to stash the incognito Romulan ale. The bottle slid from Henri's hand and crashed to the floor, spilling the contents. Staring at the mess he had made at the foot of his bedside table, he noticed something glint on the ground. He focused his full, yet hazy, conciseness on it and frowned. Grasping the damaged, ale-soaked, photograph from beneath the shattered glass and wood, he realized what it was. Henri held the picture to his chest as he shifted his weight to lie down. Prostrate in the quiet, dark room alone, he began to sob quietly over the picture of the decorated soldier, his deceased father.

To be continued next Monday. I hope you ladies and gents enjoyed part 1. If you have any questions or comments.... leave a comment!

~Mike

_\\//

My Short Story

2007-12-02T22:06:00.000-05:00

As hinted in a recent comment, I will be posting a short story that I wrote, in 3 parts (as soon as I finish it). It took me a while to get the story drafted and the process of finalizing it is taking me forever. Thanks to a friend for copy-editing it (this friend will hopefully be guest-writing in the meantime until I get the story finished). Thanks for the patience and readership as I get this story done.

~Mike

_\\//

So Close. Maybe Next Time

2007-11-30T17:48:00.000-05:00

A friend introduced me to Armor for sleep last year and I had mixed feelings. I really enjoyed some of their songs, while I felt others were over-simplistic and rehashes of other songs. I finally found some time to listen to their new-ish album Smile For Them and had similar, mixed reviews.

The CD opens with the generic Smile For the Camera. The song is loud and fast and indistinguishable from any other Armor For Sleep track. Track 2, the pre-released Williamsburg, sounds equally repetitive, though it seems the writer had a purpose in writing the track. Though the instrumentals be nigh identical to other AFS songs, the lyrics are half-decent and redeem the song in my opinion. Apparently the singer doesn't like Williamsburg and had a bad time there... or so I gather.

I can see how some people really like Armor for Sleep and I can accept that, but it is just not for me. As the third track (Somebody Else's Arms) embodies, the songs by AFS are all much too melodramatic and whiny. I know that some people enjoy listening to that sort of thing, but as stated above, I don't. The lyrics:

Well it's only love it's not real anyways.
You're gonna die in somebody else's arms
And I have to live with that.

Epitomize my point. They cover all of the bases for sensational, suburban, self-centered music. An apathetic veil is thrown up with the lines about love's pseudo-existence, Death, and the fact that the artist's life is terrible because of the first two tenants.

I don't think they could look any more cliched

Tracks 4 and 5 are equally forgettable and soft-core morbid. The next track has the whiny, soft intro I come to expect from AFS, but with a catchy and likable background. I kept waiting for the track to start and for me to like it, but I found that the intro never ended. Funny that the only song I really liked until then on the album was 1:49 long.

End of the World has a satisfactory instrumental (as the rest of their discography), but it is unique in that the lyrics are delivered in a tolerable pace with some nice effects. I liked this track despite the presence of the aforementioned tenants of AFS. The track reminded me of some Lostprophets when they weren't screamo and weren't straight pop-rock. I have very few complaints about the song and won't avoid it when listening to my library.

The na-na-na-ing of the next song, Stars In Your Eyes, seemed a little out of place and a little bit more Bullets and Octane for me, though I do like the Bullets and Octane. Songs like this give me faith that the band will find itself later in their career. It was so close to being a good song in my opinion, and almost great. Some of the lyrics sounded almost Modest Mouse-ish with an almost Bullets sound. If they can later find a way to synthesis the sounds into their own unique new sound, I will become an avid fan of Armor For Sleep.

The band is musically solid, but I just don't like listening to the type of music they sometimes make. I am torn because I want to like them, but I just don't enjoy listening to their music. The instrumentals on all of their CDs are catchy (though sometimes repetitive) and the lyrics are sometimes poetic and solid, but whiny and annoying at others. Maybe if the band showed some consistency I could like them more.

It is also hard to say bad things against a band who references such a fantastic author as Chuck Palahniuk. In the months before Smile For Them was released, a video on their site featured a quote from the Chuck P. book Survivor. Times when they make such references give me hope for the band that maybe when they mature a bit (in sound and age) they will find better lyrics to supplement their promising instrumentals and propitious themes.

~Mike

_\\//

Testing The Waters: Mass Effect

2007-11-24T15:23:00.000-05:00

To say that this is an In Depth review would not due justice to Mass Effect because I have only played it for 8 hours. That seemingly large chunk of time played is not nearly sufficient enough to make any meaningful comments about the game. For this reason, every remark I make will have an assumed "so far" after it.

Playing through the opening cut-scene didn't instill me with that sense of awe that I expected. The somewhat cliched character backstory options that are chosen in character customization were limited and somewhat uninspired. Whether your character is a colonist, Terran, or "spacer"; the game plays out in pretty much the same way (so far... you see what I mean?). Mass Effect gives the player a little taste of the story with a trip through your ship, The Normandy, before viciously throwing into a combat situation.

As stated by the guys at Penny Arcade said, the game does not give much of any tutorial apart from the small text boxes with cryptic messages and unimportant information. By the time you figure out what the hell is going on in the duck-and-cover fighting, your are thrust out of the fires of combat into a political battle on the beautiful Citadel. Without giving away story elements I can't say much. Suffice it to say, the Citadel is stunning.

Given the size of other Bioware cities (from KOTOR and Jade Empire), it can't be considered massive, however it is dense. The Citadel has lots of people doing their own thing. My favourite part of the city was that it doesn't feel as though you, as the player, are the only person there. People talk to other NPCs and walk around without you triggering any events. In fact, my favourite situation was diffusing a conflict between a Hanar (pictured, right) evangelist and a Human C-Sec (short for Citadel Security) officer.

The free-roaming elements of Mass Effect can be seen as a strong point and a weak one. Though there is a huge galaxy to explore and you can go to literally any of it, however there is a very formulaic and repetitive manner in which you explore planets. One instance of this repetition arises immediately upon being able to roam freely. The player is given 3 places of interest to investigate on top of all of the hundreds of side missions available. I decided to go for the jugular and find an ally of the big bad guy of the game. The mission told me that the ally was in the Artemis Tau cluster..... but that isn't very descriptive. The Artemis Tau cluster has 4 systems in it, and each system has a number of planets (from 1 to 10ish).

To investigate these planets I was forced to pick a system at random to investigate first. I chose a system and began my search by selecting a planet. Once selected on the galactic map, a small window opened with some information on the planet. This planet could not be landed on so I came to the conclusion that it did not hold the ally that I was searching for. After this, I chose another planet. It COULD be landed on. Could this be the planet that I was searching for? The Normandy dropped off my party in an assault vehicle named the MAKO (pictured, left) and I traversed the red sands.

Upon finding some very nondescript landmarks and a crazy sand worm, I returned to the Normandy and continued my search for the correct planet. This process continued for hours until I finally found the correct planet and found the villainous character. Through the journey I completed many side-quests and enjoyed myself, but I wish it was easier to get what you wanted without the searching.

I will post more of my findings from the vast pool that is Mass Effect at a later date so stay tuned! Same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel (Please don't sue me Warner Brothers!).

~Mike

_\\//
(...or paramount)

First Impressions: Mass Effect

2007-11-20T14:34:00.000-05:00

I have played Mass Effect for a couple hours now and feel I am qualified to make some preliminary opinions. Let me first say that I had unreasonably high expectations of this game (curbed only by the fantastic gentlemen at Penny Arcade), and this game has almost met them.

The blending of genres in Mass Effect is pretty solid. The tactical shooter combat fits well with the RPG elements of leveling up and acquiring new skills (similar to my opinions of Hellgate). I am surprised in that the combat is a real challenge. From watching videos, I expected the fighting to be easy and quick. My impression of the fighting is a tactical, pulse-pounding experience.

The gameplay is broken up between missions, which include fighting and the like, and time spent in cities. The city sections can drag a bit and become boring (especially due to the outrageously long elevator rides), though learning the back story of the galaxy and races is extremely intriguing. If you don't mind a break in the mindless fighting to learn a bit of sci-fi, then you shouldn't mind these sections. However if you are simply in it for the Shooter elements (and have no interest in the rich sci-fi story), the city portions of the game could be a deal breaker.

Another problem I have with the game is the terrible texture pop-in. It doesn't really detract from the game too much, but it is a glaring error in an otherwise-polished game. In almost all cut-scenes the models looks terribly textured for a second in which new textures cover it, and then a third layer covers the others to give the fantastic look of most environments. The one second problem makes me think that the revered Bioware rushed Mass Effect to shelves.

I will write a more in depth update later once I have some more game experience. From what I have seen so far, the game promises to be an exciting RPG with some fast-paced combat and an awesome story.

Until Next Time,
~Mike

_\\//

A State of Flux

2007-11-20T07:51:00.000-05:00

I got Bloc Party's new single/small album the other day. The single is called Flux and was released on November 12th. The CD clocks in at 18 minutes which isn't bad for a single and contains some decent tracks.

Inevitably, my favourite track off of the single is Flux; which features a quick beat and some great electronic sounds. Initially listening to the song, I had mixed feelings. I later came to love it due to the campy music video and the meaningful lyrics.

The other tracks off of the album (The Once and Future King, Where Is Home?, and Emma Kate's Accident) are forgettable, but decent. The Once and Future King kind of reminded me of a Two More Years remix that I like, but the near instrumental Where Is Home? becomes annoying as does the depressingly slow and long Emma Kate's Accident.

The CD featured a great song and another wonderful addition to Bloc Party's repertoire for only £4.00. Check the album out if you like BP. I will write again later once I play Mass Effect!

Until Later,
~Mike

_\\//

The Gates of Hell Have Never Been So Inviting

2007-11-07T17:17:00.000-05:00

I can't stop playing Hellgate. It is the most fun I have had playing a video game in a while. Though the character creation in the beginning of the game is kind of weak, you have hundreds of options to edit your character. Though the gameplay almost becomes repetitive, there are amazing climaxes in the story that are accompanied by epic levels with fantastic scenery and scary-as-hell bosses.

I love this game and wish more people I knew played it. It seems like playing alone is half of the fun, but getting a party of adventurers would triple the game's fun. The classes, though few in number, are varied enough to make the game repayable as each one.

The Hunter faction consists of the Marksman and the Engineer. The Marksman is a pretty generic sniper/rifleman. Playing as a marksman makes the game seem like a pretty solid FPS until a message comes up saying "Level up!" The skills expand on the gameplay and make it entertaining to no end. Being able to throw a grenade that increases in damage as you play the game may seem slightly uneventful until you add new combat stances and robot minion types as well.

Finding and customizing new weapons make the class infinitely more entertaining as you acquire new upgrades for your very own, tailor made BFG. Perhaps my personal favorite part of weapon customization is the visual change weapons go through as you upgrade them. You can SEE the new battary or scope or ammo type that you put onto your gun, making your character even MORE unique.

The wonderful folks at Massively.com wrote up a bit about the classes that I would be hard-pressed to outshine.

Until next time
~Mike

_\\//

Mind the Gap

2007-10-31T20:57:00.000-04:00

I have been awaiting Hellgate London for the past month with bated breath. Today is finally the release and I just played for an hour and a half in what seemed like minutes. For those who don't know, Hellgate is an action/adventure/mmo/rpg/fps. You play it standard hack n' slash mode with the option to switch to a first person view. As you get kills you level up and get the oppertunity to get new skills and attributes. This is the most faithful reproduction of Diablo that I have seen since the genuine article.

The game is definitely entertaining, but I have some problems with it to get out of the way first. FIRST! The most glaring problem with the game is the atrocity of the graphics. They look pretty terrible.... I am running the game on medium/high settings (best my card can handle) and at times it looks like an N64. The models look ok, but the textures are pretty terrible. SECOND, its really easy.... I hope the difficulty picks up later, but it seems that I don't have to worry about health. I kill things so quickly that I rarely even get hit. Perhaps it is the nature of the Marksman class to just pwn really hard, but I was expecting more of a challenge. THIRD! Every part of this game's production seems botched. To participate in the beta, a preorder of the game was required. Not only that, but between the beta closing and the game release (a few weeks) the forums closed down. It seems Flagship is trying as hard as they can to destroy any vestige of a community. Also, the only reason I am writing now is that the servers required maintenance ON LAUNCH DAY! Come on guys, hammer out the bugs BEFORE the game is released.

Now the good part! I think the game is very entertaining. Playing an fps with skills and expandable equipment is fun. Adding in multiplayer co-op and a buy/sell mechanic and you have a game that is arguably more entertaining than WoW. I enjoyed every minute of my play, despite the shortcomings. I encourage anyone with 50 bucks and a desire for a new RPG or FPS or MMO to pick it up.

If you DO get it , I am Revik on Shulgoth

Legend of Zelda: Blogquest

2007-10-24T16:03:00.000-04:00

I recently bought The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass with some gas money, and I am happy to say that I am not disappointed. I have yet to finish the game, but sources tell me that I am towards the beginning of the game still.

The game features a familiar Link-based story. This particular Link appears to be the same one from The Windwaker however. Those who played the Windwaker will remember Tetra, the pirate-lass-turned-princess, who makes a return as the damsel in distress in the .... sequel?

I had misgivings as to the quality of a Windwaker sequel keeping up to par on a hand-held system. With a style so unique and graphics-heavy, I worried that the game would pale (or fail) in comparison to the previous entry in the series. I am happy to say I was surprised.

The game fits into the dual-screened, minimized, style of the DS fantastically. The graphics are decent, the sound is great Zelda music, and even the controls are... decent. I was iffy initially with the entire touch-screen controls, but later came to love them (along with most of the things in the game). At times the controls felt clumsy and I swung a sword when I meant to walk or I did a spin attack instead of roll, but I really can't complain that much.

Another big complaint of mine is the difficulty factor of the game. Hopefully it will scale up as I play, but I really can't see that happening. I constructed this handy graph here to show my experiences with the level of difficulty (and definitely did not copy it from a physics lab...)

Check it out, Phantom Hourglass is a great Zelda game in a string of phenomenal pieces of game-art.

Until Next Time, Live Long and Prosper _\\//
~Mike

A Crappy Band in the Parlance of Our Times

2007-10-19T22:05:00.001-04:00

Complete with repetitive lyrics and forgettable guitar riffs, As Friends Rust has established its place as a generic garage band in its authoring of "A Trophy Band in the Parlance of Our Times". The CD opens with a promising, Sublime-like grunge song with a mildly catchy beat. This credit to the band ends 40 seconds into the song. A bland chorus with unintelligent lyrics assaults the listener.

The raspy voice of the singer misses the endearing qualities of Rancid's Tim Armstrong and comes off at best annoying. The moronic words spewing forth from front man Damien Moyal's gutteral throat are accompanied by lame guitar riffs that fail to do more than drown out the sub-par vocals and drums. The simplistic bass lines are barely audible under the aural slaughter of the rest of the band's murderous rampage of suckitude.

With song titles like "More than Just Music, It's a Hairstyle" and "The Most Americanist" It appears that As Friends Rust attempted to come off as witty and endearing, but succeeded only in making unfortunate listeners like me thanks some form of God that there is more to listen to than this garbage.

I will remember very little of this album, not because it was obscenely short (clocking in at 17 minutes), but because it was bland, generic, and generally a shitty excuse for a nu-metal carbon-copy of Limp Bizkit's best album (I have no idea what that might be).

Regrettably yours,
Mike

Crazy Times at Costello Music

2007-10-17T15:18:00.000-04:00

The Fratellis deliver an upbeat, light-hearted, poppy jaunt in there newest hit, Costello Music. The CD opens up with the plucky guitar and the slurred vocals of Henrietta. The song features some fantastic sounds that aren't quiet singing and aren't quiet playing instruments, but are fun none-the-less.

The radio-friendly hit Flathead follows with equally memorable banjo and vocals. The humorous lyrics accompany some fun, mindless gang vocals and some strange sounds to make the song an instant pop-rock hit. Being featured on an iPod commercial didn't hurt the song's success.

The rest of the album features similar tracks with varying tempo, but the same general feel. An exception being Doginabag which, despite having a strange name, is much slower as well as Whistle for the Choir. Both songs sound strange coming from such a fast and upbeat band.

Listening to this album's unique feel definitely convinced me to add The Fratellis to my list of favorite bands. I can't wait to see another album from them.

Here is some video goodness with an MP3 for the same song. Henrietta:

~Mike

_\\//

To Too Large a Divide They Have Sworn

2007-10-16T21:10:00.000-04:00

For the sake of the Blog War, I was supposed to write a negative review of Soilwork's new album "Sworn to a Great Divide". The only problem with this setup is that I love the album. Love it a lot... because I couldn't find it in my literary heart to badmouth the fantastic piece of metal, I got my little sister (she is 12) to write what she thought. Enjoy:

I disliked the album. I disliked the album because I couldn't understand what they were saying. I also don't think their very talented for just screaming on the top of their lungs. Most of the songs sound the same too. I cant tell the difference between them all. Some of the songs have too long of introductions; I thought they were instrumentals for a little. I didn't enjoy listening to this album.

In closing, check the album out. I thought it was metal at it's finest. Enjoy the glorious metal, stabbing you mercilessly in the ears:

Sworn to a Great Divide
Breeding Thorns

~Mike

_\\//

In Rainbows OR Begun, The Blog Wars Have

2007-10-15T17:07:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine over at Feed The Indie Kids is joining me in a week-long battle of wit and unabashed blog violence. Watch as we pedantically review 7 albums for the 7 days in a week with opposing view points. Cheer and Jeer as we make fools of ourselves, but mostly each other in: BLOGWARS.

Radiohead's new album hit the net last week. The album, entitled In Rainbows was released in the non-conventional web-only style utilized by many less affluent bands. Radiohead, however, has chosen this format because it has recently dropped its label. The indie band not only decided to not provide the record in stores, but more shockingly, they decided to opt with a "Pay what you feel like" mode of selling the album.I downloaded the album (electing to pay 0 pounds) and began listening, already excited about the prospect of legally receiving a record for free and must say that I was impressed. Radiohead delivered a great sounding, diverse record with In Rainbows.

The CD starts off with the frenetic guitar and synth of 15 Step. The song features the trademark (or so I am told) instrumental focus, while letting the vocals complement; rather than the other way around. The catchy song is followed by the similarly instrumental Bodysnatchers. The second song features a larger highlight of front man, Thom Yorke's singing, though the quick bass and squealing guitar are still clearly in the forefront.

After the speedy opening tracks, the record slows down with Nude. Opening with some slow echo effects and some moaning from Yorke, the song benefits from Colin Greenwood's deep, prominent bass-line. The track drags at points, but ends before any real damage is done to the listener's enjoyment of the CD as a whole.

Almost schizophrenically, the album picks back up with an almost "Legend of Zelda" sounding guitar line in Weird Fishes/Arpeggi. The picked-up pace only helps to alienate Nude more, making the listener wonder if they really did just listen to a 4:15 track with a snail's pace.

The middle of the CD blends together, making the listener unsure if they had just listened to 4 songs or 1 track of a phenomenal length. The heavily modified bass of All I Need accompanied by Phil Selway's drum skill keep the track entertaining. The quick, spitting vocals of Yorke make a return in Faust Arp. The incomprehensible vocals blend with the violin and guitar of the track to make an inseparable amalgam of sounds that would sound empty without the other.

Reckoner keeps the same pace, but drops out the soft violin and soothing vocals for a more metallic guitar and drums along with more wailing vocals. The indecipherable moaning becomes annoying at some points; but as with earlier tracks, it seems a subtraction of any part of the song would make it utterly unlistenable.

House of Cards features a more radio-friendly guitar line with discordant synth and repetitive vocals. At this point the album seems to lose steam from the fantastic beginnings of 15 step and Bodysnatchers. The lyrics of House of Cards (Yes! They ARE understandable) sound like something an angsty teen would write in a heartfelt poem to a spurned lover.

The following track, Jigsaw Falling Into Place, tries to reclaim some of the suckitude of House of Cards with a bass rif more reminiscent of earlier songs on the album and some quick, almost rap-like, lyrics from Yorke. This track is a diamond covered in crap, sandwiched between House of Cards and the equally terrible Videotape.

The CD as a whole is a great addition to my library which lived up to the cheap-as-free hype. Radiohead delivers a solid aural recording with In Rainbows, despite it's sometimes cryptic lyrics and meanings. Solid.... Enjoy the sounds I have so generously placed at the expense of Radiohead.

15 Step
Jigsaw Falling Into Place

Until Next Time, Live Long and Prosper _\\//
~Mike

PS~ To further elongate this, already gargantuan, post; The people at Blog Action Day ask that I spread awareness to the plight of our fine planet. She hath served us well in the past and we should stop bitch-slapping her in the eye. I mean... Get the arm or something. The eye really hurts.

An Acceptable Trek Substitute

2007-09-26T21:37:00.000-04:00

Contrary to the name of this blog, I am a die hard Star Trek fan . However that doesn't mean that I haven't recently begun to harbor a love for the fantastic remake of the sci-fi legend Battlestar Galactica. I arrived late to the boat of Battlestar Galactica with its fourth season starting up in december.

I bought the first season for a modest fee and watched it with a fervor. I ate through the season with a tenacity unseen since I finished Star Trek: The Next Generation. I loved every minute of the depressing, space drama that is Battlestar Galactica.

For those who don't know, back in the late 70's there was a hallmark sci-fi series called Battlestar Galactica. It was created, riding on the coattails of the Original Start Trek, and had a cult fan base. Throughout the years after the shows cancellation, prominent fans have worked on a recreation of the beloved series.

In 2003 the dream was made a reality. A miniseries was put into the works by Fox to act as a sort of pilot for a new series. The miniseries was successful and the folks at paramount decided they wanted the show back on the air. The series started back up with some similar aspects to the original series, but with a whole new storyline.

I love the plot and the characters (some great acting), and pretty much everything about the show. It features all of the science and robots and space ships of Star Trek, but with a grittier, more real feel to it. The creators of BSG aren't afraid to kill large numbers of characters, while it seems the people behind Star Trek shied away from the slaying of prized characters.

Instead of single ship on ship battles, the combatants in BSG are chiefly the Viper attack fighters. These are single manned vessels that are outrageously maneuverable, but rather prone to blowing up under fire. These Vipers are piloted by ace pilots aboard the giant, carrier-like ship the Battlestar Galactica.

A favorite bit of mine is the cinematography in the series. When watching the epic space battles of the series, the view focuses in and out rapidly at first as if someone was filming the fight from another place. Some may find this annoying, but I find that it makes the skirmishes more visceral and real (despite the fact that they are fighting robots in space... more real)

Battlestar Galactica is engrossing and entertaining, and a perfect addition to anyone's sci-fi library. If you liked the exploits of Kirk or Picard (or even Sisko and Janeway), give BSG a chance. You can find it on DVD at book and movie stores (for an inflated price) or on iTunes for a pretty respectable amount.... or you may be able to find it somewhere for free..... **subtle wink**. It may not be Star Trek, but it can fill the science fiction void until the new film comes out.

Until Next Time Live Long and Prosper _\\//,
~Mike

The Rebirth of Westerns?

2007-09-11T16:36:00.001-04:00

I saw 3:10 to Yuma on Sunday and was very impressed. I expected a half-assed spaghetti western with a re-re-recycled plot, but what I got was a solid (though somewhat floundering) attempt at a serious western film.

The film stars Christian Bale and Russel Crowe as a poor rancher and a murderous outlaw, respectively. Bale swears to take Crowe to meet teh 3:10 train to Yuma prison for the $200 dollar reward. He needs the money so that he can continue to feed his family and pay off a large debt to a ruthless business man.

Throughout the film we see the shifting paradigms of the cliched outlaw and lawman. We see that the holier-than-thou bounty hunter was not as good as he pretended to be and that despite his streak of violent crimes, Crowe has a sense of honor and dignity

The film was a bit slow, but the culmination of the plot, waiting for the train was exciting and made up for the drag towards the middle of the story. Understandably, the plot was predictable. It is hard to make a western that ISN'T cliche, but 3:10 tried its best to break the mold without straying to far from the western roots. It seemed to find a balance between originality and Westernness....

Check it out if you get the chance. It was a solid B+ in my book.

Until next time, Live long and prosper _\\//,
~Mike

Palahniuk and Me

2007-09-09T13:27:00.000-04:00

I have recently discovered an author who engrosses me fully in any work I read. His name is Chuck Palanhniuk. He is the author of such books as Lullaby, Invisible Monsters, Rant, Survivor, Choke; and most popularly, Fight Club.

Like most people, when I was told that he wrote Fight Club I immediately responded, "There was a book?!". The next day I visited the book store and picked up fight club (Choke and Survivor too). The next day I had finished Fight Club and had anxiously started on the second book. The books keep me interested totally, for better or for worse.

Having completed 2 Palahniuk books and started another, I think it is safe to say that all of his books feature a disturbing satire on modern life. I have read criticisms of his works that mention that Palahniuk is purely a shock author, but I find that hard to agree with. Despite the gratuitous nature of his writings, Palahniuk always delivers a hard-hitting interpretation of society and its worst aspects.

Fight Club offers a glaring look at the materialism of society. Entrants of Fight Club are described as "a generation raised by women" who need a way to express their manliness. They engage in fights with each other to feel alive and to break the monotony of everyday life. As with the fight clubs in the story, the popularity of this work has become national. Most people are at least somewhat familiar with the story through the hit movie for good reason. It was very good. Like the book, the movie fails to disappoint and is a solid, entertaining, 2 hours with one of the best plot twists ever.

The second work I read is definitely rated R for sheer frequency of sex in the book. Choke follows the misadventures of a pitiable sexaholic who works at a Williamsburg-esque colonial theme park. He attends sexaholics anonymous every week, not to attend meetings, but to have some fun with other addicts in the bathroom. With my attempts to spare the reader of some gross images, I can not really explain the graphic and disgusting nature of these 'scenes' in the book.

Apart from the unsettling sex, Choke delivers a deep look into the life of a hopeless man who refuses to accept his lack of control. Despite his base encounters and constant wondering of "What would Jesus NOT do?", the main character comes off as a hopeless protagonist. His skewed childhood and lack of guidance comes off, not as an excuse, but as an ample reason for the ruin of his moral compass.

As I start another Palahniuk book, Survivor, I can see that it is still superfluously nauseating, but satisfying deep. I can only hope that the rest Palahniuk's books are exciting and philosophical.

Until next time, Live long and Prosper _\\//
~Mike

As I Emerge from the Deeps of Rapture

2007-09-02T12:15:00.000-04:00

Bioshock is definitely impressive. In fact, it ALMOST lived up to my expectations. The game is stunning from many standpoints. Graphically it is one of the prettiest games released for the Xbox 360. Atmospherically it is unrivaled. When it comes to gameplay, the near unlimited combos utilized in combat is astonishing. And now that I have almost run out of adjectives I will explain Bioshock in more detail, as I am sure 50% of the bloggosphere has already done.

Following up to my demo review, the game immediately throws you into action as you try to help some guy find his family. Due to cave ins and locked doors you must take a super-round about way of getting to the desired location and you get an introduction to the flora and fauna of the underwater hell. It is hard to say much about your objectives under water without giving away some plot points in the very secretive story, suffice it to say that the fantastic story telling keeps the play from getting boring.

I found myself wandering around Rapture for fun while the game's help mechanic tried to get me to move on in the mission. I would be exploring and enjoying myself when a message would come up telling me how to access my map. I am sure there is a way to turn that function off, but it was a little intrusive while I tried to delve deeper into Rapture.

The combat and the intuitive weapon system didn't disappoint at all. In fact I really enjoyed how you had to prepare for a fight a few minutes before hand. It made the combat seem more deliberate and fulfilling when you finished a fight victoriously. The best example I have of this is found when trying to take down a Big Daddy. The behemoth can't be taken down by simply emptying bullets into it. Before initiating combat with a Big Daddy I would set traps and map out an escape route and load up all of my gun's armor-piercing rounds to maximize damage. It made the game seem like a steampunk hunting sim at certain points.

One of my favorite parts of the game is found once you finally DO slay a big daddy. Without the giant guardian, the little girl that he protects is defenseless. The Little Sister carries a substance needed by all denizens of Rapture called ADAM. Once you vanquish a Big Daddy you can choose whether to kill the Little Sister and receive the maximum amount of ADAM or you can use a special device (given to you in a very ambiguous plot point) and let the Little Sister live and only receive a fraction of the ADAM. "What the hell would you take less ADAM for!" say the heartless. "For humanities sake!" I reply. Letting the Little Sister live awards with with half the ADAM, but the "Mother" of the Little Sisters rewards you for every three Little Sisters you save. I prefer being a nice guy, even in video games, so I let the Sisters run free in Rapture.

My few qualms with 2K's nautical odyssey are as follows. The game REALLY isn't that open-ended. Yes you can go wherever you want, but you must follow the one plot line. I was hoping for the option to give my loyalty to whatever side I chose in Rapture's civil war, but I was conscripted to a static side. Another problem of mine is that the game is too easy! There is no consequence of dying at all. If you perish in combat you are automatically reborn a few yards away at a Vita-Chamber. Apart form being a bit of a nuisance, dying is no big deal! Also, you are never lost in Rapture because you have a very nice, complete map and an arrow that leads you to your next objective. I am kind of put off at the ease of the game, but in all Bioshock is such an enjoyable experience that ease is no problem.

I love Bioshock. I really do, and I would recommend it to anyone who has a 360. And if you don't have a 360 I would recommend you go buy one and Bioshock 'cause it is a great experience that everyone should enjoy. Go out and get Bioshock despite the lack of multiplayer and its ease. They are not a detriment to the game at large.

Until next time, Live Long and Prosper _\\//
~Mike

Scratching Rapture's Surface

2007-09-02T12:14:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the delay, but I am back!

The Bioshock demo was released a few days ago on the Xbox Marketplace, and I must say I am impressed. I had very high expectations for the game and the demo only affirmed my suspicions of greatness. I would recommend that anyone with an Xbox 360 download the demo and try it out with an open mind.

The demo starts off with a bit of background on the, until now, hazy story. The main character is sitting on a plane, talking about something that I am sure will end up a big part of the plot. The plane crashes into the Atlantic Ocean. The player gains control of the protagonist after the planecrash in the ocean. Being surrounded by flaming wreckage, you are forced to swim to an odd looking edifice, sticking out of the water. Stairs lead up to a door which, in turn, leads into the ominous entrance of Rapture.

After a short walk, the player enters a small submersible that leads into Rapture Major. But before you can get to exploring you are given a short introduction on rapture via a projector and record from the mysterious creator of Rapture, Andrew Ryan, which lays down the objectives and philosophy behind rapture.

I was stunned by the attention to detail graphically and otherwise. The game's atmosphere really makes the player believe that they are in the 1960s with a sort of claustrophobic, panicked feel. I really dug the ambiance and the creator's ability to convey it without taking control from the player. There were no cut-scenes in a traditional sense in the demo (Apart from the opening title-sequence), but I still received all of the story elements that were intended for me to understand.

The gameplay was fun, but I can see a little bit of repetitiveness arising later in game. I hope the game doesn't fall to a
"explore the level and collect a power-up" formula, but I feel the story will carry it above that. The combat delivers a visceral, panicked feel especially when armed only with a wrench. The insane citizens of Rapture (or Splicers are they came to be known) are a perfect enemy as they deliver small bits of dialog as they charge towards you with murderous intent. "I didn't mean to kill her! I Swear!" Shouts one Splicer as he rushes towards the player while wielding a lead pipe.

The real meat and potatos of combat is reached a few minutes after the demo begins. The character finds a syringe with a "Plasmid" in it. After injecting himself with it, he is empowered with the ability to shoot electric shocks from his hand. The game boasts many different kinds of Plasmids that players will be able to discover and implement into combat.

Plasmids require a substance called EVE to work. EVE operates in a similar fashion to mana in any other game. Upon using a Plasmid, your EVE bar lowers. After multiple casts of any Plasmid, the bar becomes totally diminished and requires another syringe injection. EVE hypos are found in a multitude of places from the corpses of Citizens to trash cans. Certain other, single-use, items such as Pep Bars and Cigarettes also increase EVE slightly and can be found strewn across Rapture's barren surfaces.

I read somewhere that players will be able to find different types of ammunition for guns found in Rapture, but there were no instances of the weapon upgrades in the demo. Other, non-upgraded weapons, include a wrench, a revolver pistol, and a Thompson "Tommy Gun" machine gun.

Playing the demo, I can't wait until August 21st when it is released. I will see if I can tear myself away from the game to write a review once I get it. The next update will include some sort of music or movie review. Hopefully I see something standout soon.

Until next time Live Long and Prosper _\\//,
~Mike

Hardboiling Isn't Just for Eggs Anymore! (part 2)

2007-09-02T12:11:00.000-04:00

Upon visiting EB Games, I was informed that Stranglehold isn't released until August 28th. Disappointed, I went home and saw that a demo was available starting the next day on Xbox Live! I waited a couple of hours for the demo to download and in the mean time watched the basis for the game, Hardboiled. The film stars Chow Yun Fat as Inspector Yuen "Tequila", a bad-ass cop who fires two guns and never reloads.

Hard Boiled has to be one of the most action-filled, violent movies I have witnessed in a long time. The film opens with an action scene in a tea house filled with innocent people. Tequila and a few other cops crash a shady deal going on and mayhem ensues. The baddies open fire on everyone, hoping to hit the cops, and Tequila and company have to dodge bullets, protect as many innocents as they can, and try to apprehend the main baddies behind the deal. the scene ends with hundreds dead, but I won't spoil the rest.

In my personal opinion the best scene in the movie is towards the end where two characters (no spoilers here!) fight through wave after wave of anonymous bad guys while blasting off shots from their guns with seemingly bottomless magazines. The men discuss the nature of friendly fire and how it effects policemen mentally. The scene is a two minute and forty second continuous shot using one hand held camera. It was truly amazing cinematography.

Hard Boiled featured some of the most exciting action sequences I have ever seen. Not only did the quality of the action scenes awe me, the quantity of the gripping battles kept me reeling as well. I read on Wikipedia that the film's final death count was as high as 307. (it was voted the movie with the 3rd highest on-screen body count ever). I have yet to count the bodies for myself as I watch again, but it is sure I will watch again if only to see the brutal skirmishes again.

I read somewhere that Hardboiled is a "cult film" and if that is so, I am glad to be part of the cult. I loved the movie the whole way through, from the sarcastic jokes (upon saying he will live in a Jazz Club, Tequila is told he will get lots of Sax), to the glamorized police life, to the over-the-top violence. Hard Boiled has been added to my list of favorite films and is a definite must-see for anyone who enjoys Tarentino and doesn't mind some subtitles.

After watching the masterpiece of cinema, I played the Stranglehold demo. It was a very entertaining couple of minutes that displayed some of the movie's strongest points in an interactive media.

Playing as Tequila, you dive through the air, perform impossible feats of agility, and take down hundreds of un-named bad guys with relative ease. The Hero wields his trademarked a kimbo Beretta 92 pistols and performs familiar, ballet-like dives and rolls all while dodging bullets.

One of my favorite aspects of play that I saw in the demo was the unique cover and mobility system implemented. Upon running into a table or counter Tequila slides across it or along it's surface instead of taking cover behind it. You can still dive behind cover in a intuitive system, but the game makes it easier to keep moving in the true Tequila fashion. Add to this system, bullets whizzing around and a liberal splash of slow motion and you get some interesting Gun-fu.

The game boasts the "most destructible environments in any video game" After playing the demo and watching a few videos, I don't doubt that claim at all. Upon entering a crowded market, Tequila is barraged with bullets. Running through he environment, the boxes and tables of the crumble under the bullets. Whenever a bullet collided with any solid object, be it anything from a neon sign to a stone pillar, the object in question was demolished by the gun fire.

Destructible environments with slow motion diving, coupled with context-sensitive actions make this a game definitely worth buying. The demo showcased these very exciting elements of play that guarantee my purchase of the game. More reviews of the game will follow once I actually purchase it, on August 28th.

Enjoy some Stranglehold game play footage with creator commentary :)

Live long and prosper _\\//
~Mike

Stranglehold gameplay

Hardboiling Isn't Just for Eggs Any More (part 1)

2007-09-02T11:58:00.001-04:00

This is just a small update before a bigger one later:

I am currently watching Hot Fuzz again. It has to be one of my favorite films of all time. The film has some great SimonPegg whom I do love. In it is not only Simon Pegg, but also some fun British humor with a couple great action sequences. The film itself is a bit long, so if you plan on watching it make some time or watch it in a couple parts. It isa definite 'spiritual successor' to Shaun of the Dead, despite the genre change. Give it a watch!

Stranglehold comes out tomorrow and I must say I am excited. for those unfamiliar, it is a game based on the character Inspector Tequila (Played by Chow Yun Fat in the movie Hard Boiled). I really hope it lives up to all the hype. I will be HOPEFULLY getting it tomorrow after work and I will write a big review of my thoughts once I play it for a bit. Look forward to That!

Until tomorrow! Live long and prosper _\\//
~Mike

The Lonesome, Crowded, Blogosphere

2007-09-02T11:31:00.000-04:00

REPOST FROM VOX

I began watching Simon Pegg's sitcom entitled Spaced the other day. The first episode was mildly entertaining and 100% British. The show features Simon Pegg as a youngis h man who was recently kicked out of his girlfriend's apartment. Tim (Simon Pegg's character) works at a comic book shop and does some work as a struggling artist on the side. Through a strange twist of circumstances he meets a dysfunctional woman who also is out of an apartment and they decide to room together, despite having no previous relation.

The majority of the first episode consists of the homeless team trying to get to know each other enough to pretend that they are a couple. They need to pretend, of course, because the landlord of their would-be apartment would frown upon two strangers living with one and other.

So far, it is a mildly funny, refreshingly British, and wholly entertaining sitcom. Additional reports will follow as I watch more episodes.

In other news, I recently acquired a new punk album entitled Keep Your

Heart by The Loved Ones. Despite their seemingly unintimidating name, The Loved Ones deliver an album of solid, aggressive punk rock. The singer's scratchy voice fits the sound of the speedy and energetic guitar to produce a sound that is similar (to my ears) to Rancid (sans the British accent).

On top of decent sound, The Loved Ones deliver some surprisingly deep lyrics. Call me cynical but I tend to expect simple angst and rebellion in punk lyrics. Keep Your Heart breaks the mold with some meaningful and *gasp* tender lyrics while still keeping the quick pace and raw sound. My only complaint is that as that the album ends faster than the music plays as the record clocks in at 31 minutes.

In conclusion, The local band proves solid with their pumped up, albeit short, debut album Keep Your Heart. I await The Loved One's next foray into the music scene impatiently.

Until next time Live long and prosper,

~Mike